Most over rated job of all time: Superhero

When I was a younger man I used to dream of the day when my super powers would fully develop.  Now that I am wiser I am glad I decided to not pursue the life of a super hero.  Let's face it...being a super hero is a shit ass job.  First of all it pays nothing.  Any good Superhero worth their cape and tights won't take hand outs.  And it's not like you can just run around robbing banks either...I don't think people like that.  Unless you're giving it back to the people but that pretty much negates the entire reason for robbing the bank in the first place.  I guess you could try to market yourself but then you're really no better than Paris Hilton or some other talentless ass clown.  That means you have to get a job.  A real job.  And it's not going to be some high class easy ass job either.  You're going to have to leave all the time which means you're going to get fired a lot.  Which means you're not going to have that great of job.  Let's say you're a big CEO and there is an important meeting and you're preparing and just about ready to make a move that will revolutionize the industry when you hear a bus full of babies crying in the distance.  What do you do?  Do you just let the bus full of babies die?  Or do you screw up the big meeting?  If you leave the babies everyone is going to be all, "Where is Super Derek (still working on the name)?"  They'll start getting pissed that you didn't save the babies and no matter what you do after that they'll just be, "Well I guess he saved the world today but where was he when the babies died?"  or, "What does he have against babies?  Does he hate children?"  You can't save everyone and that means people are going to be pissed.  So basically you'll just be working dead end jobs.  Probably at McDonald's or Target.  And the worst part is that they'll expect you to do extra work...I mean what good is having a super hero working for you if he doesn't do super work?

Then there is the obvious danger to your friends and family.  There's always the super villain that will use them against you since you yourself are invulnerable.  That's what super villains do because I've seen it in movies.  Plus can you really have friends if they know you're a super hero?  Every time they move, every time they need something real quick, every time they need anything they'll call on you.  And the one damn time you don't show up they'll resent you for it.  Plus they're not really going to want to just hang out.  You can't play sports with your bros, it'll just make them jealous.  Basically they'll get drunk and make you do party tricks.  And forget about a love life.  Sure it'll be easy to get dates but you'll never know if you've found someone who loves you or loves your job...of course that doesn't seem to bother basketball players.

Then there is the whole being a superhero.  Super powers are way over rated.  Flying?  What a pain in the ass.  Bugs in your teeth, you're hairs always messed up, and you'll probably get attacked by birds.  Birds are bitches.  I'll travel by car thank you.  Invisibility?  What good is that really?  Oh you can't be seen?  Welcome to high school.  The only thing it's good for is hanging out in the locker room being a perve and you can see that shit on the Internet already.  Super speed?  So you're everyone's bitch now?  You have to be everywhere on time?  What's the rush?

So yeah.  That's why I chose to not be a super hero.  It's a lot of work.  No pay.  Everyone says they like you until you don't help them out then they hate you....yep I'll just keep reading medical transcription...that's where the excitement is at.  I get to press the buttons on my keyboard a lot and it makes this lovely little clicking sound...just can't get job perks like that being a super hero...but may be there is something to being a super villain?