belly rub time machine

I've been living a double life as of late. Medical Transcription proofreader by day, hipster by night. Lately I've been making an attempt to have some sort of life outside of crying myself to sleep at night so I've taken to finding out what all Austin has to offer. I've been skewering the streets looking for a second job that pays actual money for my time and in an area where I meet people under the age of 85.

I guess I've never felt more of a country boy. Except I'm not into Cowboy hats and Budweiser. But I really don't understand much of the hipster scene here in Austin. The trend going around is "vintage" clothing. Apparently "vintage" means any T-shirt with a logo on it that's 10 years old and basically anything from the 90s. The weird thing about this is that if my dad were to walk the streets of Austin, he would be officially more hip than me. All of his clothes are vintage...and he smokes. 2 points.

What I have found is that I have a look. Which I'm actually kind of proud, seeing that I really haven't bought a new shirt in 2 years. My look is All-American. This is what this guy told me anyway. He said I have a very all american look. I have no idea what that means. It's not like I have a shirt made out of a flag and run around with sparklers in both hands. Although there is a guy like that in Austin. This guy also told me that in order to "perfect" my look I had to buy tighter shirts to show off my upper body and tighter pants...to show how I walk without bending my knees? I guess I'm just lost when it comes to fashion. Things I think look terrible, others think look great. I just wish they sold like big packages of outfits...and that they sold them at Best Buy. This would make shopping for clothes much easier for me. Also I went into the hipster vintage stores and while these clothes all look perfectly fine to me...well some of them have light stains which I guess only adds to the hipster image...it seems that people are over paying for them. I saw a shirt from a bar in Duluth called Mr. D's. I'm pretty sure if any of these hipsters had actually been to Mr. D's bar in Duluth, MN they would have known that in no way is this used 5-year-old t-shirt worth 20 bucks! Really how is wearing a t-shirt from a bar that smells like urine going to make me look cool?

Also when I stay at my friends house I walk around town trying to find good Internet for my work. Usually I end up at a little coffee shop on South Congress called "The Hideout." I really feel trendy when I'm in there and bust out my laptop. Sometimes people sing songs or say poems or make fools of themselves. I find it all very amusing. I really wish people snapped instead of clapped but apparently they are not as hipster as me. There are a lot of guys in turtlenecks and wire rimmed glasses and they wear those little hats that kind of go to the side. For some reason I always sing in my head, "Salt peanut, salt peanut" whenever I seem them.
Also in the bathroom you can write on the wall but apparently you have to have your own marker. There's a lot of people being dumb and some others trying to be smart, but my favorite is a little section that says :
Have you noticed that there must be a lot of curch groups meeting here?
Then below that is someone saying: It's spelled CHURCH. And a little arrow to curch.
Then below that my all time favorite: Your mom's spelled church.

I find this to be one of the funniest things I've ever read in the bathroom at a coffee shop.

peace,

D