Back in the saddle...and it chafes

Today was a real, real busy day. When I tell you about it you're going to say in your little head, "I don't believe a word of this...no way all this happened in one day" but I swear to you it is true.

First I woke up around noon. It was tough getting out of bed so early, but I somehow managed since I love each and everyday I'm alive. Some days you just want to jump out of bed running ya know?

After all that hubbub of waking up I managed to take a shower AND brush most of my teeth. Overachiever...I think so. I usually try to settle down on the weekends but you only live life once right?

After the shower the tough planning began. I could comb my hair, but I decided to save the time by just going to get a hair cut instead...they will comb my hair for me....advantage brain.

It's been a minute since my last hair cut and I forgot how awkward it usually is for me. I have no idea what it is about me, but people just feel they can tell me absolutely anything when they cut my hair. It might be my superpower...I'm thinking the CIA could use me some how, but I'm a little reluctant to give suspected terrorists scissors near my head...not because I think they will stab me, but they don't seem to groom all that often and let's be real...messing up my head of hair doesn't just hurt me, it hurts America. Anyways...back to people telling me way to much information when they cut my hair...You may remember me telling you about the guy who told me he hated his wife but didn't believe in divorce and then proceeded to ask me how to remove any traces of what he does on the Internet from his computer...including but not limited to chat room logs and pictures...today I had another awkward conversation.

It went pretty much like this...with some liberties taken.

Her: Hi how are you.
Me: Hello, and please, ma'am there is no need to bow...twice.
Her: You have such lovely hair, have you been here before?
Me: Yeah, since I moved I pretty much come here each time I need it cut.
Her: Oh where are you from?
Me: Minnesota.
Her: Oh you don't sound like one of those...
Me: Um...thank you?
Her: So what do you think of it here?
Me: It's all right.
Her: Oh well at least your not snowed in. Have you been here in the summer...it's SOOOO hot.
Me: Yeah snow is a nuisance...yeah I was here last summer. It does get hot.
Her: The people here are different too huh? I bet you don't have many Mexicans up there.
Me: Then for some reason I said this: Yeah not really...I never really noticed but when I went back for a wedding there really are a lot of white people in Minnesota.
Her: (mistakenly thinking this means I'm a raging racist) Oh that must be wonderful. People like you and I stick out like a soar thumb around here. We have to stick together or we'll be the ones who end up being slaves.
Me: uh....
Her: I mean I don't hate them... I just wish that they never came over the boarder.
Me:....
Her: It was even hard for me to find a stylist position.
Me: Yeah we have the same problem with Canadians in Minnesota.
Her: Really?
Me: Yeah they steal all the lumberjack jobs...it's why I moved to Texas.
Her: She then gave a nod of approval...then after thinking about it I think she realized there are no trees here...she thought about it while she finished cutting my hair.

After my hair cut I decided to go grocery shopping...wow do I hate shopping. If for dinner last night I hadn't had a jar of pickles and the last few spoonfuls of peanut butter I would of put off grocery shopping a little longer.

I think what I hate the most about grocery shopping is that they strategically place people to be in the way. One lady was really pissing me off. First she was on her cell phone standing in such a way that it prevented me from taking a cart from the three rows of carts. Then I saw her sneeze on the apples...then she was in front of me in the checkout and she made the lady run all the way to the back of the store to look up a price on cat food...then decided afterwards that she was just going to go to petco to get it....Then she dug through her purse looking for her checkbook...then dug through her purse looking for a pen (refused the pen offered to her by the checkout lady)...took an eternity to write out the check...accidentally tore the check in half trying to remove it from the book and proceeded to repeat the process all over again. While all this went on I was trying to make sure that the hair lady didn't secretly carve a swastika in the back of my head.

Finally I was done grocery shopping and went home and took a nap...now I plan on going out in hopes of having a real adventure.

Now you know why I don't update the blog.

Peace,

D