butta

When I get bored or frustrated or antsy I usually go for a walk. It's a very old man thing to do but when you live alone in a city where you know nobody, it's at least something. Every once in a while when I go for a walk strange things happen...like the time I was chased be a goat.
Today I was walking along listening to a podcast when in the distance I saw a man watering his lawn. I didn't really pay much attention but as I got closer I realized that he wasn't wearing any pants...even stranger he was wearing black dress socks, a white long sleeved button up shirt and a red tie. I spent the next hour trying to imagine a scenario where these would be an acceptable outcome. Did a sudden urge to water the lawn interrupt his dressing or undressing? May be he just forgot to put pants on? May be he has really nice pants, so nice that he didn't want to risk watering the lawn in them, but decided changing the shirt was unnecessary. But even then...who waters the lawn in socks? Socks are notorious for soaking up liquids. Barefoot or wearing shoes is always a must when using water. I wanted to ask him what the deal was, but I have a pretty strict rule of not talking to guys not wearing pants.
After the walk I decided to go to the grocery store and fill the up the ol' gas guzzler with some petrol. They have 432 million gas pumps at the gas station at the grocery store and of course every one of them had a 3 car line...and for some reason everyone seems to have a need to pay for their gas in cash. Who uses cash anymore?!!? This is not important, what is important was that I saw a Mexican man trying to fill up his Honda with diesel fuel. I am a hero of the people so I tried explaining to him that it wasn't the right kind of gas. Unfortunately he was a straight up Mexican dude and had no idea what I was saying. I tried the Spanish i remembered from high school but unfortunately I only know how to ask where the library is at and how to say calculator. I did famously get to use my library asking abilities here in Kyle when I met a man who didn't speak English and I was out walking around trying to find the library...but I still think it is one of the very worst phrases I could ever learn. Let's say I'm in Spain and for some very strange reason I need to find the library...I might as well be a blind man going to a strip club because there isn't a damn thing I"m going to be able to read....Anyway I'm trying desperately to get this guy to understand that the reason the pump doesn't fit in his gas tank is because it's not the right kind of gas, but he just stares at me. I even try the old stand by of talking louder and slower but he still isn't getting it...and then I swear I hear him say the words "blanco" and "diablo." Anyway I gassed up and left and I hope that guys car blew up.

Until next time,

D