In the last two days I've had two women randomly yell at me. The first was on Sunday night when I was at the gym. I was doing my workout when the one other person in the gym walks up to me and starts telling me that the bike is broken. I didn't really care, nor did I see how it was my problem that the bike was broken but I suggested she try one of the 5 other bikes that are exactly the same. She then said that none of the elliptical machines were on and then asked me what kind of gym I was running anyway. I told her I wasn't running any sort of gym and she said and I quote, "Well you're walking around here like you own the place." I laughed at her and then she said, "And the toilet is dirty too, I had to hover over the seat when I squatted." I then told her once again that I didn't work at the gym, nor have I ever worked at the gym. Then she said, "I'm glad I haven't paid yet this month." I swear I thought I was on TV or in a dream. She then stormed out trying to slam the door but since it has one of those pressure valves on it she didn't get the desired effect. For the next 30 minutes I tried figuring out how I was walking around like I owned the place. Then I went and used the elliptical machine...they are all "on" you just have to move your fat legs so they to boot up.
Then today after I went to the gym I went to the grocery store to buy coffee and milk. I ended up buying coffee and milk and chicken and steak. While I was standing in the coffee isle trying to figure out what "rich taste" and "full taste" mean a lady pushing a cart came up to me and told me her son had spilt his ice cream cone on the next isle. I wasn't paying attention to her and I had no idea that she was talking to me and this apparently upset her. She then started yelling at me that she was diabetic and that she was going to have me fired. I still wasn't sure she was talking to me and I looked around. I noticed that there was at least 4 people looking at us now but she was most definitely talking to me. The first thing I thought was whether she had a sister to worked out at my gym. I told her that I didn't work at the grocery store. She then said, "don't get smart with me. I want to talk to your manager." The funny thing was that I was in full gym attire. I was in a bright yellow sleeveless t-shirt and wearing slippers and basketball shorts. As far as I can tell the people who work at the grocery store wear red shirts and pants, and probably wear shoes or at least sandals. Anyway I just started walking away from the lady and I noticed that the other people in the isle were snickering. I win in the end though because I enjoyed my chicken and in about 5 minutes I am going to enjoy my steak.
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That is honestly the most hilarious thing that I have ever heard. Hands down. You do tend to strut around at the gym. Perhaps she thinks you own the place because you are there more than anybody else. I don't know. The lady at the grocery store had to have just been on drugs. I was once yelled at in Duluth by a ghetto girl from across the street. She wanted to know if "Hey, you got dollah?" She was dressed a lot better than I was, Fubu isn't cheap I'm no dummy, so I told her no. And she went on her merry way. We are just so fly ladies lose control of the volume of their voices around us, maybe. Thats what I'm going to go with.
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