The time I met a pirate

This last month I decided to unload of the crap that I have accumulated. In the past, as my dad would say, what a guy would do is organize a garage sale, post an ad in the free press, or do something along those lines. With the modern convenience of Craigslist I am able to sell my things and all that entails without having to put on pants. Currently I am trying to offload my regular DVDs as I have moved on to BluRays. I suppose in 5 years I will be offloading my BluRays for whatever the latest trend may be...I look forward to buying Ghostbusters for the 5th time. I'm also selling my Desktop Computer as I no longer use it. I bought it on impulse last February. It as top of the line, on sale, and very shiny. Two weeks later I decided I was moving and needed a laptop...after that I never used the Desktop, well until recently. I turned it on, hooked it up to my TV and marvel at how nice my pictures looked on a big HD Screen...after an hour of applying updates I decided I never wanted to use it again...and haven't. The third thing I am, well was, selling is/was a compact digital camera.

Selling three things on Craigslist has lead to me receiving a million emails a day. I'd say 90 percent of them are people who apparently have nothing better to do than email about every item that's on Craigslist. Honestly if you have no intention of buying the item why would you inquire about it? Here is a real conversation I had with someone:

Them: Can you send me a list of the DVD movies or a clearer picture.

I then go through take a picture of all the movies and crop them together so they are readable in one big picture.

Them: Can you now send me a list of those movies.

I then go through and type out the title of every movie I'm selling. 558 titles later I'm done.

Them: I really like the movie, The Office. Can I just buy that one?

Me: No, and it's Office Space...The Office is a TV show.

Then I got an email from a man who wanted to offer me HALF of what I was asking for them. His reasoning was pretty much, "when I resell them I am going to sell them for what you are asking right now."

Also I of course get the hundreds of emails from people who apparently can't spell, type, or speak English. They are of course bullshit emails. They are buying them for a son as a wedding gift, or giving them to their daughter as a birthday present. They are going to pay me more than I am asking for "the Item" they never name it by name, and all they need is my address, full name, telephone number, and bank account number.

Then there is the lady who wanted to meet me on Saturday at 3 PM at my house. I offered to meet her somewhere half way, but she insisted on driving the entire distance. So I sat around the house all day waiting for her. She never showed. As if I had nothing better to do on a Saturday...well I didn't but if I did I'd be furious.

Then today I finally sold my camera. The man met me at a grocery store. He told me to look for a maroon car like off Fast and the Furious. I was expecting some punk kid in his suped up Honda, but instead I got a 450lb man with one leg driving an old Mazda with a million florescent lights on it. He then invited me to sit down in his car. I usually don't jump in a car with strange men, but I had came prepared. I had in my pocket a knife I got in the mail from the NRA. If the man tried to assault me and I had 20 minutes to retrieve the knife from my pocket, figure out how to unfold it, I was going to stab him in his wooden leg. Luckily he didn't try to assault me and apparently just really liked talking to people. He yakked and yakked and yakked for like 20 minutes. He even showed me a camera JUST like the one I was selling. The only difference was that mine was .9 megapixels higher and a touch screen...his was a year newer. He bought it anyway...1 down and 2 to go.