Time for Tuna

It is second lunch so I'm not working and I'm eating a sandwich. It happens to be a Tuna sandwich. I"m not a huge fan of tuna. It tastes kind of gross, but it's loaded with protein. If I add enough chopped up pickles it pretty much just tastes like mushy pickle sandwich...which is more acceptable. Anyway, as fun as sandwiches are, they aren't exactly the reason I started to write this post. However, the tuna did inspire me in a strange way. It got me thinking about how it is dolphin safe...which made me wonder what dolphin tastes like, and if it tastes better than tuna. Then I started to wonder why it's better for the world if we don't eat dolphin, but we do eat tuna. I guess technically a dolphin is not a fish, it's a mammal....but other than that I don't see a lot of difference. Dolphins are a better looking fish no doubt, but I'm guessing a ground up can of dolphin looks a lot like a ground up can of tuna. I'm sure the hypocrisy of eating tuna over dolphin has been discussed before, and with much gooder grammar, but the hypocrisy is what brought me to my main thought. Why do humans invent ways to feel guilty? Eating meat is perfectly natural. Our teeth and digestive systems must be built for it. True our teeth and digestive systems allow us to eat plants as well, but if we weren't evolved to eat meat, we wouldn't be able to. I'm not saying being a vegetarian is wrong in anyway. I applaud them for having much more self control than me. Being a vegetarian is better for you, mostly because with meat comes fat, but plant proteins are not as good as animal proteins....and they don't taste nearly as good. I can't tell you how many times I've been told, "try this tofu burger...it tastes just like a real burger." Um...nope...they don't. Now I am ragging on vegetarians and it wasn't my goal...I'm just commenting on how we have invented a lot of rules that don't seem necessary...rules that I'm to which I am not immune. Just think of the rules we have imposed on ourselves for really no reason at all...the small things like, wearing a tie. Wearing a tie apparently means you are dressed up...why? It just looks better right? but why? If wearing a flowered Hawaiian shirt was the norm of dressing up, would all CEOs look like tourists? Is it the tie that makes them look ready to do business, or is it years of people ready to do business wearing ties that has made it that way? What about all the rules of words? Why make a "C" and a "K" when they have the same sound? Why change the sound of "C" in the word "ice" when we have an "S" which already makes that sound? Why is the word "feces" more polite than the word "poop" and "poop" more polite than "shit?" They all mean the same thing! Have you ever considered if the word "fuck" wasn't made a dirty word we wouldn't say it so often? What does the word "fuck" even mean? To have sex? Then why is it when my email isn't working I'll say out loud, "Ah, FUCK!" Am I really saying, "AH, HAVE SEX!" That doesn't even make sense. It's just an expression of rage...an expression I say because I'm not suppose to? I'm not supporting anarchy here. I believe we have to follow these rules, now that they are in place. I also believe that if they were never invented they would not be missed.

Texas here I came...

Finally I am here. Where is here? Here is Texas. That's right, Texas just got a little more awesome. I made the beautiful drive from Minnesota to Texas with very few almost dieing experiences. Of course I may have been exaggerating on the lovelyness of the drive. I don't know if you've ever made the drive from MN to TX but let me tell you it's not the most scenic trip. Growing up in Minnesota I have been spoiled by lush green forests, open blue waters, and countless animals frolicing in front of my bumper. The trip to Texas has none of those...although I did hit a possum. It was already dead though. Iowa can pretty much be described as a giant corn field. There are a few trees around farm houses, but mostly it's just corn. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy corn now and then. I like it on a cob, in the form of a chip or shell, never creamed, but you know, I enjoy it. That being said...it's not much to look at. At one point I thought i saw a hill, but really it just turned out to be a pile of corn. I'm sure to some people corn is very fun to look at, but to me it just looks like a setting for a horror movie. So Iowa has it's troubles, but it doesn't come without a little bit of charm. The northern part of Iowa looks similar to southern MN, and there was a point where I went over some sort of river which provided a nice contrast of green in the fields of yellow. These facts make Iowa the thirdmost scenic state on the trip. The first being Minnesota, and the last being Kansas. Norther Texas and Oklahoma aren't all that beautiful, but Kansas's state motto really should be, "Thanks for driving through Kansas." Because I'm pretty sure nobody stops there. Knowing this fact Kansas decided to build a toll road in order to make some profit. It cost me 11 dollars extra to drive through Kansas. Now 11 dollars isn't a large amount of money, but I got to drive through Minnesota for free, paying to drive through Kansas is like having my own chef at home, but going out to McDonald's every night. Kansas is lucky because at 12 dollars I might of tried to figure out a way around the state.
The nice thing, I suppose, about the lack of scenery is that I spent half of the time driving in the dark. It took me about 22 hours from Minneapolis to Austin, which is pretty great time considering I was towing a huge trailer filled with my worldly possessions. The trailer I towed I rented from Uhaul...and boy do they charge an ass load. And sadly I was unable to fit half of my things into my trailer and car, leaving behind my grill, a few dressers, and some other randoms. I am really going to miss the grill, but it was just to big and potentially could make the rest of my things dirty, so I just couldn't justify taking it. It is even more tragic knowing the importance of grilling meat here in Texas. Leaving some things behind wasn't so bad, besides the grill most of them are pretty low end furniture, but I am going to be in a 3 bedroom house and the furniture I took with isn't going to fill up nearly enough of it. I now have the option of buying 1 decent piece of furniture or for the same amount of money trying to buy many really crappy pieces from Craigslist or yard sales. So if you are bored you can search craigslist in Austin for me and find these things.
1. Grill...gas...charcoal is for cavemen
2. Entertainment Center- has to be able to hold a 50 inch plasma television
3. Couches/chairs/coffee tables/end tables- I have a living room and a media room in the house and only enough things to put in one.
4. A lady friend- Forget about the legality and the morality of the idea of there being a lady for me on craigslist...just look...preferably between the ages of 22-30...or over 50 and an excellent baker and scrabble player.
5.decorations- I don't like a lot of decorations as i don't like the clutter, but if if I had a lamp or something to set on the floor in one of the empty bedrooms that would be nice.
6. Come visit- You can't find this on craigslist, but it is something you could do.

Late to the party...

Today has been an unusually frustrating morning on my lovely computer. I thought technology was suppose to make life easier, but I'm starting to think older generations lives were a cake walk. I know I here all the stories about how hard they had to work in the field, how they had to do everything by hand, and how the snow was up to their waste in July while they pushed rocks up hills for no reason other than, "that's just the way it was." But I'm calling bullshit...they didn't have it hard. I have it hard dammit. They spend 3 hours just to gather the supplies needed to make breakfast, I spend 3 hours trying to get my damn laptop to do what it was made to do...who has it worse? When they finished, they get to eat...when I finished, I get to read email about penis enlargements. Plus they get the recognition of having done, "hard work." What do I get? Nothing...that's what. Then even get the satisfaction of going on and on about how hard they had to work when they were younger...what am I going to do? Complain to my grandkids that I used to have to move a mouse around on a screen to check my email, rather then think the word, "email" with my neural implant? Consider this: Let's say one man has an ax and is told to cut down as many trees as he can in 6 hours, and another man has a chainsaw and is told the same. After 6 hours the man with the chainsaw has way more trees cut down, but the man with the ax man gets all the glory of getting to say, "yeah well, I had to use an ax." Did the man with the chainsaw work any less hard than the man with the ax? No! He cut down trees for the same amount of time as the man with the ax! He did the same work, just had to do more, with all the sense of accomplishment going to the man with the ax. The moral of the story is this: Pay someone else to cut down the trees.
I'm telling you, the older generation doesn't know how good they have it. Imagine living in an era where going to town was a treat, rather than a chore. Where you married one of the 5 girls in your village, and her dad allowed it because you knew how to shoe a mule.
Anyway, I'm ranting and I'm not going in a logical order, but I'm still angry at my computer. Let me ask you this. In the history of a program not running correctly on your computer, has the little window that pops up saying, "Microsoft is searching for a solution" ever actually lead to an actual solution?

Randomness

Do you ever mix hot cocoa mix with cold milk? Man is it good...it doesn't mix all the way, leaving a top layer of chocolaty goodness. Sometimes if you buy the proper kind the top tastes like a poor man's chocolate moose. The other night i needed something sugary and hot cocoa mix was all I had...it wasn't my first time having it, but it is my first time talking about it in a public forum. Are blogs a public forum? I suppose they are public. Man you have to love a blog...millions of words about nothing important. Which reminds me, have you ever noticed that batteries that come with products last way longer than the batteries you buy in a store? May be I'm crazy, but it seems every time I buy a new television, the batteries that come with for the remote last for years...but as soon as they go bad I'm replacing them every six months. And it's not like the batteries that come with it are name brand. There should be some sort of battery watch dog group...Next Friday I make my journey south to Texas. I'm looking forward to being there, just not looking forward to getting there. It's going to be an expensive first month, so if you want to send money feel free. Saturday I started a weekend project which is turning into a week long project. I have a bedroom set that I got for free so for some dumb reason I decided that I am going to refinish them....I figured I would have each piece sanded in a few hours, however I only finished two for the four in that amount of time. Also these free dressers have now cost me around 75 dollars...not sure it was a SMRT move.

Things I'm liking

I was just thinking that I should share some things that I am liking.
This is a blog after all...making what I think important. This week I
have been listening to Ludo. They are weird and good. Right now I am
watching The Fall, so far I am loving it. Is also weird and good. All
this week I have been eating tacos. Can't get enough of them...if I
find a smell I'll let you know.

Sent from my iPhone

Yesterday I was borrowing the local high schools Internet to do my very important job when this lady came out and told me I couldn't park where I was. Of course being in a zone that is clearly marked, "no parking" I really didn't have a problem with moving. I told her I would move and she kept telling me to move...she is apparently one of those people who likes to argue even if you're agreeing with them. She went on to tell me it's a fire hazard and if there was a fire I would be in the way of the fire trucks...and me being one of those people who also likes to argue even if they're agreeing felt like stating a few facts. First, if there was a fire truck behind me, I would probably move, as long as I had finished reading the latest celebrity gossip online (Lindsey Lohan is a lesbian!). Secondly how would she know where the fire would be? What if the fire was on the other end of the building? I wouldn't be in the way then would I? In fact, say I moved over to the other end of the building and there was a fire over there, and then I had to move back to where I was? Then she'd really look dumb...Of course being a 26 year old white male sitting outside a high school I decided to not argue and moved, parking in a bunch of cars in the process, which she was fine with. Now...this in itself is not really a story, but today I went to the school to download files and I noticed that there were some school district cars that apparently found a loophole in the No Parking rules. If you look at the picture you will see two cars that parked on the sidewalk rather in the "no parking" lane. The red X is where I was parked the day prior and was told to move. Tomorrow I am going to try parking on the sidewalk and see what happens.

Chewables...really?

This summer I learned something. Now i know that first impressions are important, but what I didn't realize is that after being away from Cook for so long the people here could re-learn their first impressions of me. The gorcery store in Cook is pretty much the only place I go. There really isn't anywhere else in Cook worth going for me. I don't drink, I don't need a small engine repaired, and I don't need to rent any VHS tapes. So I'm guessing that most people's new impressions of me are that I eat a lot of food...which is true. Today however was a bit embarrassing. Every once in a while I"ll meet someone at the grocery store that I haven't seen since returning to the great north. Today I met an old classmate that I haven't seen since high school. We did the usual small talk which I find awkward and annoying. They gave me the whole, "you look so good" talk, and I gave them the "you look the same but older" talk. Anyway as we parted I noticed them glancing into my shopping basket. I didn't think much of it at the time, but after walking down a different isle I looked in my basket to find, "High fiber cereal, raisins, bananas, and Gas-X Chewables...My dad had called me on my way to town to download files and informed me that he need the Gas-X Chewables...Mostly because he's retarded and only eats things they serve at the South Switch. Anyway to that person I'm guessing my new first impression is that I've lost a lot of weight, and that I'm now very gassy from all the fiber I eat.

Small Town Livin'

Today for some reason is the breaking point. Work has slowed down to where I'm working a less hectic 70 hours a week rather then the 100 I've been working for the past few months. With all this extra spare time however, my patience with small town living has grown thin. First let me state to all the people out there that by small town I am actually talking about a small town. In Angora, MN there are less than a hundred people...probably less than 50...when the hell really knows. All I know is that I can count every house for 6 miles each way from my driveway and still have a lot of fingers left. That doesn't mean that the mail lady doesn't lose my mail however...why wouldn't she? How and why Angora has it's own post office I'll never understand, but we do...we have that and a bar...I mean restaurant. As many of you know, the closest "town" to Angora, is Cook, MN. Here is where I went to school...here is where I buy groceries...here is where my soul is slowly sucked from my body. So all those people I've met who tell me they are from a small town of 20,000 can suck it. Anyway, sure small town living has it's charms...if you're 90. Some people like that the local paper is 90% randomness about some lady who saw a deer by the road (how is this news? I saw 10 deer this morning...there are more deer than people!!), and 10% ads for people wanting to buy tree stumps.
And why doesn't the library open until noon? Don't people work? 12-5 are the hours...no wonder nobody goes there!! Oh and also on the weekends it's closed. The grocery store isn't any better... i swear it shuts down at like 6. And since when is 85% Extra lean meat? And how come you have 1 type of orange and 600 different types of prunes and raisins?
Today I sat in McDonald's reading files for work because I can't get internet at my house and people looked at me like I was some sort of alien. It's a LAPTOP...if you knew what a computer was I'd tell it that it's a portable one.
It's just wearing me down...soon I'll be gone and things will be better...I'm sure small towns are nice for most people, but I can only swing in a hammock and talk about how cold it is for so long...