bored as hell and I want to get ill...

It's around 8:30 in the AM and I've already been up for 2 hours...I'm in that weird time zone where I am waiting for files to download and waiting for my boat to come in...well boats anyway. I work two jobs and between them I clock around 100 hours a week. You would think I would feel overwhelmed by all that work. It really boils down to about 1 hour a day where I have time to myself and I can do whatever I want. The strange thing is that when I get a rare day off I feel like I'm completely wasting it. On my “day off” I still have to work one job, which is about 6 hours a day, but for some reason even though while I'm working a hundred hours a week I keep thinking it would be nice to relax, when I get the chance I can't. I can't just sit down and say…read a book. I get about 15 minutes in and I go crazy. My legs start twitching, I start day dreaming about things I could be doing besides relaxing...things I don't even like doing or want to do...I'll be sitting there reading a book and decide..."I should really clean out that chandelier." Do I try to clean the chandelier often? No. Do I really care what the chandelier looks like? No. Hell, I didn’t even know I had a chandelier until I started reading. But I try to put it out of my mind and try to relax, but the harder I try to relax the more unrelaxed I become. I guess you can't really TRY to relax...relaxing is what happens when you're not trying to do anything else. So on my next day off I am going to try to not try to do anything…I think I’m going to succeed.