The New Year is a ringin'

It's officially 2009. I spent my first New Years Eve in style...playing Xbox with all the other losers in the world. I was going to go out but it seemed like a lot of work. I didn't get out of the Gym until 930 PM and I was pretty much spent after that. The reason I was at the gym so late was that I finally sold my DVDs. I just had them sitting in one of my bedrooms on the floor collecting dust. Every night I'd go in there and make sure they were still alphabetized and then I'd pick out a BluRay instead. I felt kind of bad for them...They were like an ex girlfriend that I still lived with. But now they have moved onto a better place. Some little Mexican Man and his daughter picked them up. He told me that they were moving on from VHS to DVD...and I have to say that the guy is pretty smart. I probably paid around $10,000 over the last 8 years for those movies and he got them all for 1/10th of that in one swoop. I am sad to see them go but I have plenty of BluRay movies now and in 5 years I'll be doing this all over again...aren't there people who say something about stupidity not being about making mistakes but repeating them? Well I say fuck those people.

I've been passing my time at the gym by listening to music lately. Usually I watch TV while I do cardio, but lately I just haven't found anything good on. I've also been listening to a lot of Hip-Hop lately. I guess I kind of go through spurts as about a year ago I was almost certain Hip-hop had lost it's flavor. As much as I hate to admit it I'm enjoying the new Kanye...even if he does think he's rap Jesus. One thing that I have been wondering about though is the phrase, "certified hustler." I've heard it a few times in songs and it's made me wonder how you become a certified hustler. Do you need to get something notarized? Or may be take a class 2 nights a week at the YMCA? Do certified hustlers have a union, and are there non certified hustlers that hustle for less than the certified? I've been looking for a second job and I'm thinking this may be it.

I might be aging

The verdict is still out but there is a slight chance I may be getting older. In human years I am 27 years old, and I'm really having a hard time believing it. I think that may be I am really just turning 18 but someone has downloaded the last 9 years into my brain. I can remember significant occasions of almost every year of my life since I was 3, but it just doesn't add up to 27. How is it that 9 years ago I was 18 and knew everything, but today I find myself at 27 and am not sure I really know anything. I mean I know things...I know facts and figures. I can name all the states and...most of the capitals? All right add that to the list. I can't remember all the capitals....my point is that if I were to play a game of trivial pursuit with you I could hold my own pretty well, but what do I really know, the world is not as black and white as 2+2=4. I've decided that somethings have no answer because there is no right and wrong, good and evil, dark and light. Everything just is. Good is not the opposite of Evil, and Evil is no the opposite of Good. Evil is just less good, than Good. I might be less right than you, but that doesn't make me wrong. Anyway I have no education in philosophy, no parental training in thinking, and no religious beliefs. Somehow I grew up in a vacuum of thought. When I was young I had no idea if my parents were democrat or republican, I didn't know their religious views, or really any thoughts they had on anything. To me a parent was basically the person who looked at my report card and sometimes brought me home a burger when they went out. Now sometimes I talk to them and I hear some of their thoughts and I am rather thankful that their views were not imposed on me when I was more impressionable (however I'm sure they do possess knowledge that would of been nice to pass on). Regardless of all this babble I'm not going to bore you, or more likely scare you, with the ideas I've conjured up late at night, but I will say this. I'm not 27. My birth certificate may tell me otherwise, but I know better. I just don't think that the number 27 represents anything more than the amount of years I've been on the planet. When I was 18, being 25 was unimaginable. And now being in my 30s sounds ludicrous. I have the feeling that at each milestone of aging I will look to the next and think, "Now that's old...I better be grown up by then." If I make it to 80 I can imagine myself drooling down my pillow and thinking, "When I'm 90...that's when I'll have things figured out."
May be what I'm trying to say is that I'm kind of dumb and people 27 should probably be smarter than I am, who knows. One thing I do know however is that regardless of how I feel or look there are parts of me that might be aging. On Christmas Day, or specifically night, I was sitting on my couch stuffing my face with a plate of cookies when I heard the familiar bounce of a basketball on pavement. I've been itching to play ball since I've moved to Texas and I started thinking that may be I shouldn't be consuming an entire package of oreos as a little snack. I then decided that there were only 5 left and I was going to go outside and play basketball anyway so I polished them off...Anyway I went out and introduced myself to the lad. It turns out he is in Junior High and even though I see him shooting outside often, he's not that good. Of course it was 930pm and the hoop we were playing on had been crushed into an oval after falling over repeatedly in the wind storms, so may be he was just having an off night. Anyway I was DOMINATING him. I hadn't shot for months but I was feeling the stroke. I was feeling really good about myself until I tried doing a simple right hand lay up. First you should know that I can only jump about 5 inches off the ground and I really wasn't what you would call streaking towards the hoop. I must have done over a million right hand layups in my lifetime so you would think that this would be no different...but somehow I landed wrong and hurt my knee...That's right. I hurt myself playing HORSE. I've since tried making up excuses. It was dark, the road is slightly curved so I was landing on a decline...but I really can't justify hurting myself playing horse. Especially since seconds before I was swimming in my own thoughts about how great I was at basketball. Anyway it made shooting impossible as I really couldn't put any weight on it at all. And then for some damn reason the kid started doing layup after layup...and I didn't want to lose so I kept doing it until I was in tears. In the end I won the last game, but it was way closer...I then limped home and the next day it was very tender. Luckily I'm pretty sure I didn't do any real damage I guess it was just a fluke. Today I did a full leg workout and I was able to do squats and run without much pain. I see he has his hoop out again tonight...I'm hooping (everyone loves puns) he wants a rematch.

Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle

Last night I was watching Damages on DVD when I heard random sirens outside my window. They weren't full blown sirens, they just sounded as if a cop car was outside flicking his siren on and off quickly at random intervals. When I was living in Duluth the sound of sirens was rather frequent and I more than once witnessed a neighbor having a run in with the law. But since moving to Kyle and a much, much better neighbor hood the only time I've heard a siren was when for no reason the firetruck was having a one truck parade up and down the streets of the city. So I was intrigued at what mischief was going on outside my house. I slightly raised one of the wood blinds on the window so I could peer out the front. I couldn't really see what was going on so I tried moving to another window with even less luck. I could faintly hear some sort of music so I went back to the TV and turned down the volume of my show. I then scampered back to the window to see what was going on. There were a lot of things going through my mind. I thought may be they had finally caught that dog that chases me when I go outside, I thought that may be someone was being deported, I then thought that may be that neighborhood kid who looks kind of mean started someones house on fire. I then realized that there was not only one cop car outside my house, but two. I then started to think that may be I had done something. Had I forgot to pay the water bill? Did I accidentally forget to swipe something at the grocery store and walk out with a free bag of chips? My head was swimming with guilt and I was sure I was going down, I just didn't know for what it was. Then the faint music I heard got louder and I heard rather clearly "It's the most wonderful time of the year" coming over the loud speaker. I had seen this tactic in TV shows before. They lay a siege outside a hostage situation and bombard them with awful songs so loudly that they give up. I knew I was no match and I went to the front door, opened it and threw my hands in the air...and in front of me was Santa Claus...riding a fire truck. Apparently the firetruck from a few weeks earlier was just a test run for the actual Santa Parade. There were like 5 or 6 cop cars and two fire trucks, one of which was playing music and the other had Jolly Ol' Saint Nick. An odd sense of serenity came over me at that moment. There is something nice about a city that opening celebrates Christmas. I'm not a religious person by any means. I have zero religious views, but I suppose I was raised on Christmas. May be if I was raised Jewish and had no religious views I would feel different about this, but I don't think so. If there were a parade of dreidels and candle holders outside at that moment instead of Santa Claus I think I would of felt the same. I know many people talk about putting the "Christ" back in Christmas but to me that is a huge turnoff. Why not just let Christmas be a celebration of giving and family and goodness? If there was a baby Jesus on the firetruck instead of Santa I would not have felt the same. I like that the city of Kyle celebrates Christmas with Santa. I like that they aren't afraid for liberals who want it called "The Holiday Season" but I also like that they aren't forcing me obey their idea of "God." I hope that this area has more moments like this...even if I only partake in them by peeking out my front window.

The Neighborhood gang

Today when I woke up I felt like I should go for a little run to start things off. It's not something I usually do, but it is nice after a couple days of it being kind of cold. The thing I don't like about running is pretty much the running part. My neighborhood while clean and perfectly nice, doesn't please the eye in a way that you'd call it scenic. But running through the neighborhood I have noticed a few things. All the homes have garages, yet all the driveways are packed with cars and they spill out onto the street. I rarely see people, but everyone looks like they are having a small party at their house. It's a little depressing as I'm never invited to these parties and my driveway looks conspicuously bare. If I were loaded I would buy a couple cars and park them in my driveway. The annoying things about the cars is that they sometimes park them blocking the sidewalk, which makes running in a straight line dificult. I did see a man on TV who was able to leap cars like an olympic hurdler. May be I'll start with something small like a trash can, or a donut. I also noticed that my neighbors are much more into the Christmas spirit than I am. I don't have lights or a tree, but it's just me here so it's really not worth it. The lights to me look out of place, especially when it's light out. Somehow a house grandly decorated with lights and those giant blow up snow globes seems kind of sad when it's all surrounded by green grass. Then again those giant blow up snow globes are pretty lame no matter what they are surrounded by.
The nice thing about running in the neighborhood is that I have my own personal trainer of sorts. I call him Corky. He is some sort of chihuahua and he likes to chase me. There are a few people who just let their dogs run around the neighborhood and Corky is the one I see the most. He likes to follow about 4 feet behind me and bark at me. If I stop and look at him he sits down and looks the other way pretending that there was another dog that was making all that noise and he can't figure out where he went. Sometimes when Corky is chasing me I run past another house where the dog is loose and then they both chase me. I don't want Corky to be alone plus it's rather amusing to watch two dogs chasing me but barking at each other. If Corky follows me the whole way back to my house I go inside and bring out some lunch meat. He'll wait patiently now for his lunch meat and the next time I go out to run he'll bark at me like he's never seen me before in his life.

Steak and Cake diet

Today I went to the grocery store and did some shopping. I go there every three days to buy milk but I always end up getting more. The nice thing about being back in a big city is the choices. Instead of 2 kinds of apples I can choose from 15...and I'm sorry but that doesn't make them "fancy food." I also bought 94/6 ratio of ground beef. It's more expensive but it's nice for making jerky and for eating. They have a 97/3 ration of beef but that's just way to expensive. Lean ground beef is just as good for you as turkey. Also turkey burgers are no substitute for the real deal. That being said I also like eating turkey. Anyway I went to the store looking to see what items I could eat on this workout plan I heard a guy talking about at the gym. The guy was ripped, head to toe so I figured he's doing something right. Hopefully he's not taking steroids...I don't want to be a body builder but as long as I'm going to the gym I figure I should try to improve on my workout. I've only started working out again regularly for the past two weeks. Before I used to do cardio one day, work out my lower body the next, on the third work out my upper body, and then repeat. It was a good way to work out all my muscles. Now I have decided that I am going to work out my lower body, and my upper body every other day, and at the same time do an hour of cardio before I start lifting...everyday. I've done it for two weeks, only missing one day. It's a lot of work. I hoping that I'm not trying to do too much, as if I'm working out all the time at half speed it's really only as good as working out all the time at full speed. Anyway the guy was saying that he tries to eat 1 gram of protein for every lb he weighs. And tries to eat half that in grams of carbs. I have decided that this is impossible for me. I've heard of all those low carb diets where you only eat like 8 carbs a day...I just don't see how it's possible. 2 cups of milk is 12 carbs...and that's just milk. Two slices of bread 4 cups of milk an apple and a banana and suddenly I'm way over 100 carbs. So I'm going to stick to the diet I came up with. I call it the steak and cake diet. Really what it means is that for every steak, chicken breast, can of tuna, or fillet of salmon I eat I get to eat a piece of cake or a cookie. I don't really eat that much bread, I don't eat rice, potato chips, or crackers. I don't drink soda or juice or anything with calories. I do eat as many vegetables and fruits that I want and when I'm craving carbs I eat the cake or cookies. I do cheat on the diet though. I don't strictly eat cake and cookies as my carb. I try to eat a lot of fiber as well. I really like this kashi cereal that you can get pretty much anywhere. It has like 10 grams of protein and 8 grams of fiber and it tastes like candy...I'm not a nutritionist but I feel pretty great. I also found a website that I like a lot. It's free and they have a lot of neat things for nutrition. They can calculate how many calories you burn while you sleep, eat, or run. It came in handy for trying to figure out how many calories I should be eating. What I did was figure out how many calories I need to stay the same weight if I were to sleep all day. I then try to eat that many calories but work out everyday. I try to burn 1000 calories doing cardio and whatever I burn doing weightlifting is an added bonus. So for me to stay at my current weight with a sedatery lifestyle I need to eat 2400 calories a day. So I try to stay below 3000. That may seem large at first but when I work out everyday I am usually really hungry. I'm not going to starve myself so I eat. Last year I lost a lot of weight on the steak and cake diet and now I'm working on adding some mass. If you would of told me two years ago I'd of written a blog about working out I'd of called you crazy....but that's just how I get I suppose. While I'm not the most social person in the world and there is a long list of things I don't like doing, I like trying new things. When I start with something I usually really put a lot of effort into it. I've read books on everything how to play golf, tennis, and basketball, to how to bake, sew, and how to take pictures. Unfortunately my interest in things is usually a quick flash, while a slow burn would be best. Hopefully I'll stay fit without being one dimensional. Oh and incase you are interested the website is http://www.fitwatch.com/qkcalc/activitycalc.html

Yesterday the day before today.

Yesterday was my birthday (Now you know the reason for all those parades) and today is not. I celebrated in style with Darren and Bonnie coming over for steak and cake. They provided the steak and cake and I provided the place to come. It was my first birthday since moving to Texas and you would think that having a birthday in a state where you know 2 people might be rather bleak, but actually it was alright. I realized that I can't really remember the last time I had a cake on my birthday...5th grade may be? Now that I've had it...i think I want it again. Being in a new area Holidays and Birthdays are probably going to be less exciting than usual. In reality I'm not that excitable of a person so may be on the surface it doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but having the option to celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas with people and choosing not to, is a big step up from not having an option to celebrate with anyone. It is a little ironic to me that my birthday here, where I know nobody, was the most I "celebrated" in the last 10 years...did I mention there was cake? Besides the "party" i got the usual phone calls and facebook messages that accompany such an achievement as staying alive for one more year. My dad even called to wish me happy birthday. He actually called twice, the first time he couldn't remember why he called and instead filled me in on what my dog Homer has been doing. My dad seems to think that Homer could have his own reality show as he loves to tell people what shenanigans he is in to. For those dieing to know, Homer has been eating food, sleeping, and sometimes lying down while he eats. The second phone call Dad remembered that he called to wish me a happy birthday, but again insisted on holding the phone up to dog and forcing me to say things like, "hey homer...good boy" My dad then laughed and said, "He knows it's you!" We have this same conversation at least twice a week. Most of the time I don't say anything, but my dad still says "He knows it's you!" every time. Sometimes I wonder if my dad has a blog where he talks about how he doesn't really hold the phone up to the dog and wonders why I don't say anything...or why I sometimes do?
I also got a phone call from my sister and she had my niece and nephews sing (yell) happy birthday to me. They do this every year and every year it does make an old grump like myself smile a little bit. They even got my name right this year. Usually at least one of them, sometimes all of them (my sister included) says "Uncle Darren" instead of "Uncle Derek." The funny thing is that when it's his birthday they do the same thing to him. So all in all it was a decent Birthday.

The time I met a pirate

This last month I decided to unload of the crap that I have accumulated. In the past, as my dad would say, what a guy would do is organize a garage sale, post an ad in the free press, or do something along those lines. With the modern convenience of Craigslist I am able to sell my things and all that entails without having to put on pants. Currently I am trying to offload my regular DVDs as I have moved on to BluRays. I suppose in 5 years I will be offloading my BluRays for whatever the latest trend may be...I look forward to buying Ghostbusters for the 5th time. I'm also selling my Desktop Computer as I no longer use it. I bought it on impulse last February. It as top of the line, on sale, and very shiny. Two weeks later I decided I was moving and needed a laptop...after that I never used the Desktop, well until recently. I turned it on, hooked it up to my TV and marvel at how nice my pictures looked on a big HD Screen...after an hour of applying updates I decided I never wanted to use it again...and haven't. The third thing I am, well was, selling is/was a compact digital camera.

Selling three things on Craigslist has lead to me receiving a million emails a day. I'd say 90 percent of them are people who apparently have nothing better to do than email about every item that's on Craigslist. Honestly if you have no intention of buying the item why would you inquire about it? Here is a real conversation I had with someone:

Them: Can you send me a list of the DVD movies or a clearer picture.

I then go through take a picture of all the movies and crop them together so they are readable in one big picture.

Them: Can you now send me a list of those movies.

I then go through and type out the title of every movie I'm selling. 558 titles later I'm done.

Them: I really like the movie, The Office. Can I just buy that one?

Me: No, and it's Office Space...The Office is a TV show.

Then I got an email from a man who wanted to offer me HALF of what I was asking for them. His reasoning was pretty much, "when I resell them I am going to sell them for what you are asking right now."

Also I of course get the hundreds of emails from people who apparently can't spell, type, or speak English. They are of course bullshit emails. They are buying them for a son as a wedding gift, or giving them to their daughter as a birthday present. They are going to pay me more than I am asking for "the Item" they never name it by name, and all they need is my address, full name, telephone number, and bank account number.

Then there is the lady who wanted to meet me on Saturday at 3 PM at my house. I offered to meet her somewhere half way, but she insisted on driving the entire distance. So I sat around the house all day waiting for her. She never showed. As if I had nothing better to do on a Saturday...well I didn't but if I did I'd be furious.

Then today I finally sold my camera. The man met me at a grocery store. He told me to look for a maroon car like off Fast and the Furious. I was expecting some punk kid in his suped up Honda, but instead I got a 450lb man with one leg driving an old Mazda with a million florescent lights on it. He then invited me to sit down in his car. I usually don't jump in a car with strange men, but I had came prepared. I had in my pocket a knife I got in the mail from the NRA. If the man tried to assault me and I had 20 minutes to retrieve the knife from my pocket, figure out how to unfold it, I was going to stab him in his wooden leg. Luckily he didn't try to assault me and apparently just really liked talking to people. He yakked and yakked and yakked for like 20 minutes. He even showed me a camera JUST like the one I was selling. The only difference was that mine was .9 megapixels higher and a touch screen...his was a year newer. He bought it anyway...1 down and 2 to go.

a little bit of a lot

This past weekend, as far as weekends go, was a pretty good one. I had some friends over to the ol' homestead and we partied like it was on sale for $19.99. You can see a photo album for the party and Halloween here.

I'm not really a party fan but it's nice that as people get older their parties get to be more my style. I can't help it if I'm an old man in a young studs body. Anyway everyone that came over brought over food...which makes me want to throw a party everyday. The last couple weeks I've been eating some pretty lame food as I haven't found the will to cook anything decent. Also the grocery store here is so big I get a headache going in it. One day I ate 2 lbs of lean hamburger. All I did was cook it in a big pan and then dump spaghetti sauce on it...I didn't eat any noodles...just the hamburger and sauce. Another day I really wanted a sandwich but I didn't want to go get bread so I just rolled up a pound of lunch meat and dipped it in mustard. Anyway, when a bunch of people came over with homemade treats I knew it was going to be a good time. I spent the first two hours of the party eating. I also spent the last two hours eating. And there was an hour in the middle I was eating too. Rockband was also a big hit. They've been giving me grief because I said I liked it but I just knew it was because they were old and out of touch.

The next day I just sat on the couch eating pie and other sugary desserts. There wasn't much on television so I watched some old Sherlock Holmes movies on Netflix. I also watched two documentaries. One was called "Who the %&$ is Jackson Pollock?" and the other one is about steroids called "Bigger, Stronger, Faster." May be I'm easily influenced but they both made me a little angry. In the first one a lady finds a painting in a thrift store and eventually someone tells her it might be worth money if it is by Jackson Pollock. His "style" of painting was pretty much him laying down a canvas and splashing paint on it with a paint stick. If you don't know who he is look up a painting and you'll see. I'm not an art critic. I have no expertise in the area. And I'm probably an ignorant idiot...but his paintings just look like a bunch of crap to me. I guess they are kind of cool in a messed up way but when you hear the art people on the movie talk about them you would think Jackson Pollock planned each splash...as if he can somehow manipulate the way gravity and physics effect paint. It truly is ridiculous. To me it sounds like a bunch of pretentious people who really know nothing but don't want to sound like they know nothing so they just go with the group. I feel the same way about people who try to tell me Mulholland Drive is a masterpiece of a movie. Anyway in the movie some big shot tells her it's not a Jackson Pollock. His reasoning is basically, "If it was a Jackson Pollock...she would not have it. She is a truck driver. Truck drivers do not have Jackson Pollock paintings." They guy is a real smug jerk about it too. Like he can tell...and obviously he can't because it turns out that they find Jackson Pollocks fingerprint on the painting. They find the same fingerprint on another Jackson Pollock painting, and on a paint can in his studio. What do the smug art critics say then? They say that art isn't determined by science...it's determined by them. They even say something like, "asking the art community to take fingerprints or DNA as proof isn't fair as they don't understand the science." So if I ever murder someone I'm going to make sure that the jury is full of art critics. So then they find that the paint from the painting matches paint found at his studio. The art critics responds: "Jackson Pollock didn't use Acrylic Paint, therefor it's not a Jackson Pollock." Never mind that they then prove that he did in deed use that type of paint by looking at other confirmed paintings...They basically respond by saying, "no he didn't." So then they find another painting that is another confirmed painting...when you hold the two up next to each other you can see that the paint overlaps. It's like if I took a photo graph and ripped it in two, and one side they said was part of the photograph and even though the other half lines up, they claim it's not the same. So really what is art and what is not art is decided by a bunch of asses. What really blows my mind is that either the painting is worth at least 50 million dollars, or worth nothing. It's still the same painting...it all depends on who did it. People are stupid...this is why I'm not surprised when a bunch of idiots kill themselves to catch a ride on a comet that's going to bring them to the promised land. So to combat these idiots she hires some guy to help her. He at least realizes the scientific evidence or at least claims he does to make a quick buck. His idea is that if he can get a group of people to buy this painting from the lady for millions of dollars, then that is what this painting will be worth. So if I sell you a bag of garbage and I tell you it's from a time when Elvis, Jesus, Oprah, and Michal Jordan were roommates, then you will buy it for millions of dollars. Never mind that if the garbage was just garbage then it's worth nothing...but if I get you to buy it for a million dollars, then that becomes the value of that product...

OK I went on a little tangent there...You should watch the movie, and the one about steroids in America...The steroids one really made me think differently about the situation...The Jackson Pollock one made me sad.

Home sweet Home!

So finally I have moved into my new house. A lot has happened in the world while I was homeless. We have a new President, the guy who wrote Jurassic Park died, um Halloween...Ok I've basically been living in a big house on a golf course eating someone else's food, but for some reason I feel like I just stepped out of a bomb shelter after Y2K.
I have pictures of my new house located here http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2588775&l=0e7ea&id=13924136.

This last week I've been like a new puppy slowly exploring his new territory. I found that it takes me around 40 minutes to walk to the grocery store...then once in side it takes me 10 minutes to get to the back of the store. It's huge. They have an entertainment section in the grocery store where they sell TVs, DVDs, CDs, and Video Games. Of course I've seen the Wal-marts and the Super Targets that have grocery stores in them, but this is the first Grocery store I've seen that has a Target in it. Sadly as big of the store is I can't find a few of my Minnesota favorites. For one they don't have Western dressing here. I guess Texas isn't as Western as Minnesota. It's not so much that I eat it on salad but mix it with Miracle whip and you've got a good fish and chicken dip( I bet you didn't think you'd get cooking tips in this blog). Of course the variety of Salsa and BBQ sauces make up for it. There is an isle in the store that is just Salsa.

Yesterday while I went running I passed a sign pointing to the Library so today I decided that I would check it out while I wasn't smelly and sweaty. So today I started walking there and I decided to take a short cut...Of course not knowing where I was going it was impossible to know which way was shortest, but I had a good feeling. After walking around for a while I decided I had probably went in a circle and then I caught a lovely smell in the air. It smelled like food, and I knew I liked the smell of it...the problem was that I couldn't tell what kind of smell it was. I thought my mind was playing tricks on me so instead of looking for the library I followed my nose. I then came upon what might be the greatest restaurant known to mankind. I have no idea what the name of it is as there is just a big sign that says, "DONUTS" then underneath that one says, "CHINESE CUISINE" and in small letters it says "TACOS" I've never been to a restaurant that specializes in Donuts, Chinese, and Tacos...and when I thought about it I'm not sure why someone hadn't come up with this before. With that mystery solved I resumed my quest for the Library. I soon came across a guy digging a hole. I don't know why he was diggin a hole, I didn't really ask. I did ask him if he knew where the library was. He looked at me blankly and said something about Nintendo. I assumed he said he didn't speak english or he didn't understand, and then it happened. For the second time in my life I used something I remembered from High School. I asked him, "De Donde es la bibliotecha" I don't know if I got the grammar correct or anything, all I know is that he pointed in a direction and I followed and there it was...the library. I was pretty proud that I had used my two years of Spanish. I was having flash backs to me in my desk wondering "Why in hell is this mandatory? When am I EVER going to be in Mexico trying to find a library!?!?" On my way back I got tot he place where the man was diggin a hole, but there was no man, and there was no hole...it makes me think that may be he was a magical Mexican fairy or something....either that or I was mistaken and it was a little farther down the road where there was another guy digging a hole.

Still waiting...

This last month I feel like I've been in a perpetual state of delay. It is truly an annoying sensation. I feel like I'm waiting for life to continue. First, I'm tired of the election...right about now I'm beginning to think the people of North Korea don't know how good they have it. Don't people get tired of the name calling and bullying? I know I am. It's like they are running for class president of the 1st grade. I mean for real...These are the people who run the country? I'm so tired of the cretinous name calling and skewed views of "facts." Right now I'm just waiting until one of them says the other has cooties and is going to take away recces. The way they twist things is BS. I always thought that what they are doing is called "lying" and I heard a rumor that it's usually not a good thing to lie. But apparently they aren't "lying" they are mis-quoting the facts, or mis-stating. If there are 9 people in a building and I save 7 of them, but my opponent says I let 2 die, they may not be lying, but they sure as hell aren't telling the truth now are they? And what hurts the most is that people are to stupid to figure it out. They read something like Obama isn't a US citizen and they take it as fact. Besides all the data showing that indeed he is a citizen, don't you think that if he wasn't a US citizen that may be McCain might bring it up? I don't care who you vote for, just as long as you have an understanding of actual knowledge.
So I'm waiting for the election to be over...I'm also still waiting for carpet to be put in the house so I can move in. Had I known it was going to take this long I would of just moved in and moved back out when the carpet guys came. Don't ever hire Home Depot to do carpet. For one nobody there knows how to order the carpet, and after they did order the carpet, it was the wrong carpet so they had to re order...which they then realized after another week that the re-order wasn't going through because they had the wrong price in the store...Even with their incompetence they should of been finished by now. Darren called them on Friday and they guy told him to call back because he's eating lunch...When Darren told him he should call him instead the guy said he didn't have a pen hand to write down the number...I should have the authority to fire people.

Texans just don't understand...

I've been living in Texas now for almost an entire month and I've noticed a few fundamental differences between here and Minnesota. Of course there is the geographical differences which lead to a different climate, but I'm going to talk more about the people.
First, people in Austin can not fathom that there are people who are not Longhorns fans. Last weekend I went tailgating at football game and I was pretty amazed. When I was invited to go tailgating I pictured me sitting in one of those cloth back chairs that starts to fold together when you sit in it. I'd be in a semicircle with the rest of the people, I'd have a root beer in my built in cup holder and we'd all be waiting for the little black charcoal grill to warm up so we could cook hot dogs. I new Longhorn football is big so I figured there would be a ton of people in the parking lot with us...I was wrong on all accounts. Tailgating is apparently a misnomer. We had to park about 3 miles from the Stadium, but that didn't matter because tailgating in Austin is basically the size of the Minnesota State Fair. I can't think of a word to describe how big it is...big. There are people everywhere...Every open space, every parking lot, every lawn on the entire UT campus is filled with people. There are tents and trailers everywhere. There are flat screens with satellite hookups, and most importantly...food. There is free BBQ EVERYWHERE! Not just cheep BBQ. There are no Oscar Meyer hot dogs...I ate about 10 lbs of ribs. For free. I had about 5 lbs of meatballs, and 6 lbs of chicken tacos. There was dessert, vegetables, sandwiches, and drinks...all free. Sure they asked for donations...but I didn't give any...that means it was free! I have no idea who won the game. I have no idea who they played...We left like a half an hour before it started...which was good....Because with all the food came a lot of drunks....a lot. You can't drink at the stadium so everyone gets wasted before hand. When we got there at noon there were a handful of drunk idiots...by 6 there were a handful of not drunk idiots. Also there were a lot of dudes...which wasn't so awesome. But back to my point. The people there couldn't understand why I wasn't a UT Longhorns fan. I lived in Austin...I should be a Longhorns fan. I explained to them that I just moved from Minnesota, and they looked at me as if to say, "So you're here now though right?" It is impossible for the Texas brain to fathom that anyone cheers for a team other than UT...Especially if they live in Texas. To them football is UT football...they seem to picture heaven as a giant stadium in the sky where the UT offense plays a game against the UT defense for eternity.

Texas

I haven't even officially moved into my house as of yet but I have started thinking about the idea of becoming an actual citizen of this state. I like "thinking about the idea" of things, it's a nice of saying I doing nothing. Anyway I'm not sure of the actual process of becoming a citizen of Texas so I've been brushing up on my Texas history in case there is a quiz. You wouldn't think there would be a quiz, like the one to become an American, but the people here talk like Texas is its own country, so who knows? Recently I found myself in a local library where I noticed 95% of the material would give me much needed "Texas" information. I'm not sure Texans know this, but there are books without "Texas" in the title. That being said checking out a book at a library involves bring back said book...which seems like a lot of work. So instead I took to the Internet to supply me Texas history.
My first stop was wikipedia. Wikipedia gets a bad rap, but I think a lot of it is from people who were dumb enough to pay hundred of dollars for a printed encyclopedia, when they can get the same info online for free. That being said I have come across bad info. For instance, consider the following:

As of the 2006 US Census estimates, the racial and ethnic distribution in Texas are as follows:
48.9% White non-Hispanic
German (10.9%)
English (7.2%)
Scots-Irish (7.2%)
11.6% African American
3.3% Asian American
0.6% American Indian
13% other racial groups
35.7 total Hispanic or Latino[5]
White Hispanic 21.0%
Mexican (25.3%)


Let me save you the math. That adds up to 113.1 percent. Apparently everything is bigger in Texas.

After reading that I soon learned that the Texas State Fair is going on right this very minute, and being easily distracted I instantly started looking up the Sate Fair giving up quest of Texan knowledge. I justified this by asking myself, "What better way to learn about Texas, then a celebration of Texas?" Also I am a sucker for a fair...I don't know why really. I think the Minnesota State Fair is pretty awesome, but the only reason I can come up with is that I like the food there. I apparently can recreate the best parts of the fair with a deep fryer and random edible items to insert into it. Like a twinkie, banana, anything chocolate, or the usual like french fries.

Anyway I went to the Texas State Fair web page to learn about it. It is apparently in Dallas, which is only about 4 hours from here. The first thing I did was check out to see what was part of the entertainment package at the fair. With everything being bigger and Texas, and Austin being the live music capital of the world, I expected the fair to have a large music offering...boy was I wrong. On the list of "entertainers" the most recognizable was Bell Biv Devo, which they describe as the super group that came from New Edition...The rest are presumably struggling country singers...and an Elvis impersonator! Oh wait!! I take it all back...Jessica Simpson is going to be there!

Community Service

I am slowly gearing up for the move into my new house. It is still about 2 weeks away from me being able to move in, since it doesn't make sense for me to set my things up when the tile and carpet need to be put in. Two weeks when compared to most lifetimes is a short amount to be waiting, but really I've been waiting since April when I first decided I was going to move, and I'm not a patient person. I try to find methods of coping with my with my impatience, and the best way seems to be thinking of things to put in my home. I have been browsing craigslist daily, and have even went to a few Goodwills, to try to find diamonds in the rough...let me tell you though, most Goodwills are all rough...no diamonds. My plan in the next couple months is to try to find nice things for cheap, and failing that, just buy the things I need. I keep trying to think about practical things that I'll need, like a desk, or a BBQ. BBQ doesn't sound that practical but when it's 90 degrees out every day you don't want to be cooking in the house that often. I'm going to need bookshelves, tables, chairs, shower curtains, and all those little things...but I can't seem to think about any of it, until I get the most important thing organized...the living room. Really it's all that matters to me in a house. How big is the living room? How will I be able to set up my home theater, and couches? These questions keep me up at night. So I finally just concluded that until I figure out what I want and need for the living room I'm going to be unable to think about the rest of the house. So I've been looking for a TV stand or an entertainment tower, since I stupidly decided that mine was not important enough to be one of the things I could fit for the move here, and let me just say that it is impossible to find a decent setup at a decent price. Don't get me wrong, I'm willing to spend my entire furniture budget on a TV stand, but it just doesn't seem right. I've been shopping the usual websites, craigslist, Bestbuy, Target, Froogle, searching for a decent stand and have come up with nothing. Everything is to ugly or to expensive, but mostly not in stock. Apparently Austin had a surge in demand of entertainment centers, as they are hard to find. Especially if you have a 50 inch Plasma. So today I decided to give up on the search for entertainment centers and instead decided to buy some speaker wire and other cables I thought I might need. And this is where my community service comes in. If you're like me you've been buying you cables and speaker wires at the store. I know when I bought my Ps3 I paid 70 dollars for a 3ft HDMI cable. It was the cheapest they had at the time. They tried to push the 90 dollar version but I thought I was to smart for them. You see I know that HDMI is a digital signal and unlike an analog signal Digital signals pretty much work, or don't work...so buying the souped up version of an HDMI cable really does you no good. So I was a genius for buying the 70 dollar version saving myself 2o dollars which meant I was going to buy one 30 dollar BluRay DVD. My math is sound unless we are talking electronics...then logic goes out the window. So about a year ago I found a website, www.monoprice.com which turns out is the greatest website known to man. I just bought 3 super duty 6ft HDMI cables for like 4.50 a piece. So the price came to like 13.50, plus 6 dollars shipping, so I bought 3 of them for under 20 bucks...At Walmart I think HDMI cables are 30 bucks...best website ever. I also bought 100 ft of speaker wire...I don't really need it, but it was so cheap I figured I might as well. I also bought 2 speaker stands for 12.50 (for both). They are like 70 in the store. I've even considering buying a wallmount for the TV. I don't particularly like wallmounts. They are very modern and nice looking, but I've been known to randomly decide to move my entire living room around for no reason, and having my TV stuck to the wall would limit this possibility. So yes...go to monoprice.com if you ever need any time of cable or anything for a TV.

man without a country...

Have you ever read that book? I think I have...or may be it was an excerpt...I think I had the gist of it....I did see the movie "Terminal" with Tom Hanks. It is one of my favorites by the way. It's really swell. He has to eat ketchup on crackers because he doesn't have any money but he has to stay in the airport because his country no longer exists. Then he somehow gets a construction job and buys a suit to impress a lady...Interesting side note, they built that entire terminal set just for the movie. But I digress...I am feeling like a man without a country right now. I just moved to Texas and I've living out of boxes, which is frustrating. I have a house to live in but it is being upgraded. It is more that adequate the way it is, but they are putting in new floors and fixtures and marble counter tops and lots of things that don't have to do with where I put my television, which is my main concern. Anyway I am definitely pleased that I will be living large soon, however things take time and until then I am living at my brothers. All of my things are packed away at the house I am going to be living in, so it is basically like I am on vacation somewhere. Vacation where I have to work. The frustrating part is living out of boxes, and not being able to set up life. For instance, mail. I can't set up my mail yet as I'm not living there. I could forward everything to my brothers but that doesn't make much sense since I will be in the new house in a couple weeks. So my mail is currently going to my house in Angora, MN...and my father hasn't proven to be the most reliable of sources of passing on my mail. I also can't really explore my new neighborhood the way I would like. I suppose I could spend the day just driving around Kyle, TX but really I don't have the time. Besides having to do my work, my spare time is spent painting walls and installing lights. Never mind that I have to be at the new house in 4 hour chunks to get water, electricity, gas, and cable hooked up. It really is ridiculous. This is how you get your gassed turned on. You first call the City of Kyle and ask them to turn the gas on. They say that you need to prove first that there are no leaks, which means you have to call a plumber. The plumber who is apparently always busy picks a day he can go there and tells you he will be there sometime between 6AM and 6PM so you sit and wait at the house all damn day only to have the plumber come for 5 minutes and plug in a pressure reader. He then says he has to wait a day and see if the pressure stays the same. So you do the same thing the next day waiting for the plumber...who then comes for 5 minutes and checks the pressure valve. He then says it's OK and you call back the city of Kyle and tell them to come turn on the gas. They then tell you that in 5 days they will send someone out there to check if you are lying about having the pressure checked. So you wait all day that day for some guy to show up, look at the pressure thing just like the plumber just did and he puts a green tag on it...he then tells you it will be another week before they can come out and turn the valve to turn the gas on...even though he has all the tools with him...that's not his job...he just puts on stickers. Houses are frustrating and I can't wait till it's all done. I should note however that there are worse places to be stuck living then at my brothers house on a country club on a golf course...It is nice being here and I enjoy living with him and bonnie, they make me feel very welcome...so may be I shouldn't complain...

on to my second reason why I am feeling like a man without a country. Politics.
I listened to the first debate on the radio on my drive here to Texas. And I watched about 3/4 of the VP debate last night, and I have to say I'm not that impressed with either party right now. I'm pretty sure that who ever wins things will change for the better, just having a fresh face in the office will hopefully help. That being said I'm disheartened that Obama isn't really the agent of change that I want him to be, and McCain isn't the straight talker I want him to be. Listening and watching the debates I have noticed that both sides just spit out statistics that are bent and twisted to a point where they don't even make sense. If you are a straight talker why would have to twist words to try to make yourself look better? If you were a real straight talker you would just give plain facts...facts that weren't twisted...that way when the opposition said twisted facts you could call them out right out in front of an entire nation. But instead you're doing the same thing they are doing, so you can't call them out because they will call you out, and you will spend the entire debate like this.

Moderator: Person one I will start with you; Is grass green?
Person 1: Grass is not blue.
Person 2:Grass is not blue, but what person 1 has said isn't the entire truth. Grass is also not orange.
Person 1: Oh come on now, we all know grass is also not orange.

And if you've noticed this is pretty much how the debates go. If you want to be an agent of change or a straight talker...try just saying the truth, and in a way that doesn't resemble a lie. I don't care how you vote, but I hope you go to factcheck.org and check out some of the actual facts.

Time for Tuna

It is second lunch so I'm not working and I'm eating a sandwich. It happens to be a Tuna sandwich. I"m not a huge fan of tuna. It tastes kind of gross, but it's loaded with protein. If I add enough chopped up pickles it pretty much just tastes like mushy pickle sandwich...which is more acceptable. Anyway, as fun as sandwiches are, they aren't exactly the reason I started to write this post. However, the tuna did inspire me in a strange way. It got me thinking about how it is dolphin safe...which made me wonder what dolphin tastes like, and if it tastes better than tuna. Then I started to wonder why it's better for the world if we don't eat dolphin, but we do eat tuna. I guess technically a dolphin is not a fish, it's a mammal....but other than that I don't see a lot of difference. Dolphins are a better looking fish no doubt, but I'm guessing a ground up can of dolphin looks a lot like a ground up can of tuna. I'm sure the hypocrisy of eating tuna over dolphin has been discussed before, and with much gooder grammar, but the hypocrisy is what brought me to my main thought. Why do humans invent ways to feel guilty? Eating meat is perfectly natural. Our teeth and digestive systems must be built for it. True our teeth and digestive systems allow us to eat plants as well, but if we weren't evolved to eat meat, we wouldn't be able to. I'm not saying being a vegetarian is wrong in anyway. I applaud them for having much more self control than me. Being a vegetarian is better for you, mostly because with meat comes fat, but plant proteins are not as good as animal proteins....and they don't taste nearly as good. I can't tell you how many times I've been told, "try this tofu burger...it tastes just like a real burger." Um...nope...they don't. Now I am ragging on vegetarians and it wasn't my goal...I'm just commenting on how we have invented a lot of rules that don't seem necessary...rules that I'm to which I am not immune. Just think of the rules we have imposed on ourselves for really no reason at all...the small things like, wearing a tie. Wearing a tie apparently means you are dressed up...why? It just looks better right? but why? If wearing a flowered Hawaiian shirt was the norm of dressing up, would all CEOs look like tourists? Is it the tie that makes them look ready to do business, or is it years of people ready to do business wearing ties that has made it that way? What about all the rules of words? Why make a "C" and a "K" when they have the same sound? Why change the sound of "C" in the word "ice" when we have an "S" which already makes that sound? Why is the word "feces" more polite than the word "poop" and "poop" more polite than "shit?" They all mean the same thing! Have you ever considered if the word "fuck" wasn't made a dirty word we wouldn't say it so often? What does the word "fuck" even mean? To have sex? Then why is it when my email isn't working I'll say out loud, "Ah, FUCK!" Am I really saying, "AH, HAVE SEX!" That doesn't even make sense. It's just an expression of rage...an expression I say because I'm not suppose to? I'm not supporting anarchy here. I believe we have to follow these rules, now that they are in place. I also believe that if they were never invented they would not be missed.

Texas here I came...

Finally I am here. Where is here? Here is Texas. That's right, Texas just got a little more awesome. I made the beautiful drive from Minnesota to Texas with very few almost dieing experiences. Of course I may have been exaggerating on the lovelyness of the drive. I don't know if you've ever made the drive from MN to TX but let me tell you it's not the most scenic trip. Growing up in Minnesota I have been spoiled by lush green forests, open blue waters, and countless animals frolicing in front of my bumper. The trip to Texas has none of those...although I did hit a possum. It was already dead though. Iowa can pretty much be described as a giant corn field. There are a few trees around farm houses, but mostly it's just corn. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy corn now and then. I like it on a cob, in the form of a chip or shell, never creamed, but you know, I enjoy it. That being said...it's not much to look at. At one point I thought i saw a hill, but really it just turned out to be a pile of corn. I'm sure to some people corn is very fun to look at, but to me it just looks like a setting for a horror movie. So Iowa has it's troubles, but it doesn't come without a little bit of charm. The northern part of Iowa looks similar to southern MN, and there was a point where I went over some sort of river which provided a nice contrast of green in the fields of yellow. These facts make Iowa the thirdmost scenic state on the trip. The first being Minnesota, and the last being Kansas. Norther Texas and Oklahoma aren't all that beautiful, but Kansas's state motto really should be, "Thanks for driving through Kansas." Because I'm pretty sure nobody stops there. Knowing this fact Kansas decided to build a toll road in order to make some profit. It cost me 11 dollars extra to drive through Kansas. Now 11 dollars isn't a large amount of money, but I got to drive through Minnesota for free, paying to drive through Kansas is like having my own chef at home, but going out to McDonald's every night. Kansas is lucky because at 12 dollars I might of tried to figure out a way around the state.
The nice thing, I suppose, about the lack of scenery is that I spent half of the time driving in the dark. It took me about 22 hours from Minneapolis to Austin, which is pretty great time considering I was towing a huge trailer filled with my worldly possessions. The trailer I towed I rented from Uhaul...and boy do they charge an ass load. And sadly I was unable to fit half of my things into my trailer and car, leaving behind my grill, a few dressers, and some other randoms. I am really going to miss the grill, but it was just to big and potentially could make the rest of my things dirty, so I just couldn't justify taking it. It is even more tragic knowing the importance of grilling meat here in Texas. Leaving some things behind wasn't so bad, besides the grill most of them are pretty low end furniture, but I am going to be in a 3 bedroom house and the furniture I took with isn't going to fill up nearly enough of it. I now have the option of buying 1 decent piece of furniture or for the same amount of money trying to buy many really crappy pieces from Craigslist or yard sales. So if you are bored you can search craigslist in Austin for me and find these things.
1. Grill...gas...charcoal is for cavemen
2. Entertainment Center- has to be able to hold a 50 inch plasma television
3. Couches/chairs/coffee tables/end tables- I have a living room and a media room in the house and only enough things to put in one.
4. A lady friend- Forget about the legality and the morality of the idea of there being a lady for me on craigslist...just look...preferably between the ages of 22-30...or over 50 and an excellent baker and scrabble player.
5.decorations- I don't like a lot of decorations as i don't like the clutter, but if if I had a lamp or something to set on the floor in one of the empty bedrooms that would be nice.
6. Come visit- You can't find this on craigslist, but it is something you could do.

Late to the party...

Today has been an unusually frustrating morning on my lovely computer. I thought technology was suppose to make life easier, but I'm starting to think older generations lives were a cake walk. I know I here all the stories about how hard they had to work in the field, how they had to do everything by hand, and how the snow was up to their waste in July while they pushed rocks up hills for no reason other than, "that's just the way it was." But I'm calling bullshit...they didn't have it hard. I have it hard dammit. They spend 3 hours just to gather the supplies needed to make breakfast, I spend 3 hours trying to get my damn laptop to do what it was made to do...who has it worse? When they finished, they get to eat...when I finished, I get to read email about penis enlargements. Plus they get the recognition of having done, "hard work." What do I get? Nothing...that's what. Then even get the satisfaction of going on and on about how hard they had to work when they were younger...what am I going to do? Complain to my grandkids that I used to have to move a mouse around on a screen to check my email, rather then think the word, "email" with my neural implant? Consider this: Let's say one man has an ax and is told to cut down as many trees as he can in 6 hours, and another man has a chainsaw and is told the same. After 6 hours the man with the chainsaw has way more trees cut down, but the man with the ax man gets all the glory of getting to say, "yeah well, I had to use an ax." Did the man with the chainsaw work any less hard than the man with the ax? No! He cut down trees for the same amount of time as the man with the ax! He did the same work, just had to do more, with all the sense of accomplishment going to the man with the ax. The moral of the story is this: Pay someone else to cut down the trees.
I'm telling you, the older generation doesn't know how good they have it. Imagine living in an era where going to town was a treat, rather than a chore. Where you married one of the 5 girls in your village, and her dad allowed it because you knew how to shoe a mule.
Anyway, I'm ranting and I'm not going in a logical order, but I'm still angry at my computer. Let me ask you this. In the history of a program not running correctly on your computer, has the little window that pops up saying, "Microsoft is searching for a solution" ever actually lead to an actual solution?

Randomness

Do you ever mix hot cocoa mix with cold milk? Man is it good...it doesn't mix all the way, leaving a top layer of chocolaty goodness. Sometimes if you buy the proper kind the top tastes like a poor man's chocolate moose. The other night i needed something sugary and hot cocoa mix was all I had...it wasn't my first time having it, but it is my first time talking about it in a public forum. Are blogs a public forum? I suppose they are public. Man you have to love a blog...millions of words about nothing important. Which reminds me, have you ever noticed that batteries that come with products last way longer than the batteries you buy in a store? May be I'm crazy, but it seems every time I buy a new television, the batteries that come with for the remote last for years...but as soon as they go bad I'm replacing them every six months. And it's not like the batteries that come with it are name brand. There should be some sort of battery watch dog group...Next Friday I make my journey south to Texas. I'm looking forward to being there, just not looking forward to getting there. It's going to be an expensive first month, so if you want to send money feel free. Saturday I started a weekend project which is turning into a week long project. I have a bedroom set that I got for free so for some dumb reason I decided that I am going to refinish them....I figured I would have each piece sanded in a few hours, however I only finished two for the four in that amount of time. Also these free dressers have now cost me around 75 dollars...not sure it was a SMRT move.

Things I'm liking

I was just thinking that I should share some things that I am liking.
This is a blog after all...making what I think important. This week I
have been listening to Ludo. They are weird and good. Right now I am
watching The Fall, so far I am loving it. Is also weird and good. All
this week I have been eating tacos. Can't get enough of them...if I
find a smell I'll let you know.

Sent from my iPhone

Yesterday I was borrowing the local high schools Internet to do my very important job when this lady came out and told me I couldn't park where I was. Of course being in a zone that is clearly marked, "no parking" I really didn't have a problem with moving. I told her I would move and she kept telling me to move...she is apparently one of those people who likes to argue even if you're agreeing with them. She went on to tell me it's a fire hazard and if there was a fire I would be in the way of the fire trucks...and me being one of those people who also likes to argue even if they're agreeing felt like stating a few facts. First, if there was a fire truck behind me, I would probably move, as long as I had finished reading the latest celebrity gossip online (Lindsey Lohan is a lesbian!). Secondly how would she know where the fire would be? What if the fire was on the other end of the building? I wouldn't be in the way then would I? In fact, say I moved over to the other end of the building and there was a fire over there, and then I had to move back to where I was? Then she'd really look dumb...Of course being a 26 year old white male sitting outside a high school I decided to not argue and moved, parking in a bunch of cars in the process, which she was fine with. Now...this in itself is not really a story, but today I went to the school to download files and I noticed that there were some school district cars that apparently found a loophole in the No Parking rules. If you look at the picture you will see two cars that parked on the sidewalk rather in the "no parking" lane. The red X is where I was parked the day prior and was told to move. Tomorrow I am going to try parking on the sidewalk and see what happens.

Chewables...really?

This summer I learned something. Now i know that first impressions are important, but what I didn't realize is that after being away from Cook for so long the people here could re-learn their first impressions of me. The gorcery store in Cook is pretty much the only place I go. There really isn't anywhere else in Cook worth going for me. I don't drink, I don't need a small engine repaired, and I don't need to rent any VHS tapes. So I'm guessing that most people's new impressions of me are that I eat a lot of food...which is true. Today however was a bit embarrassing. Every once in a while I"ll meet someone at the grocery store that I haven't seen since returning to the great north. Today I met an old classmate that I haven't seen since high school. We did the usual small talk which I find awkward and annoying. They gave me the whole, "you look so good" talk, and I gave them the "you look the same but older" talk. Anyway as we parted I noticed them glancing into my shopping basket. I didn't think much of it at the time, but after walking down a different isle I looked in my basket to find, "High fiber cereal, raisins, bananas, and Gas-X Chewables...My dad had called me on my way to town to download files and informed me that he need the Gas-X Chewables...Mostly because he's retarded and only eats things they serve at the South Switch. Anyway to that person I'm guessing my new first impression is that I've lost a lot of weight, and that I'm now very gassy from all the fiber I eat.

Small Town Livin'

Today for some reason is the breaking point. Work has slowed down to where I'm working a less hectic 70 hours a week rather then the 100 I've been working for the past few months. With all this extra spare time however, my patience with small town living has grown thin. First let me state to all the people out there that by small town I am actually talking about a small town. In Angora, MN there are less than a hundred people...probably less than 50...when the hell really knows. All I know is that I can count every house for 6 miles each way from my driveway and still have a lot of fingers left. That doesn't mean that the mail lady doesn't lose my mail however...why wouldn't she? How and why Angora has it's own post office I'll never understand, but we do...we have that and a bar...I mean restaurant. As many of you know, the closest "town" to Angora, is Cook, MN. Here is where I went to school...here is where I buy groceries...here is where my soul is slowly sucked from my body. So all those people I've met who tell me they are from a small town of 20,000 can suck it. Anyway, sure small town living has it's charms...if you're 90. Some people like that the local paper is 90% randomness about some lady who saw a deer by the road (how is this news? I saw 10 deer this morning...there are more deer than people!!), and 10% ads for people wanting to buy tree stumps.
And why doesn't the library open until noon? Don't people work? 12-5 are the hours...no wonder nobody goes there!! Oh and also on the weekends it's closed. The grocery store isn't any better... i swear it shuts down at like 6. And since when is 85% Extra lean meat? And how come you have 1 type of orange and 600 different types of prunes and raisins?
Today I sat in McDonald's reading files for work because I can't get internet at my house and people looked at me like I was some sort of alien. It's a LAPTOP...if you knew what a computer was I'd tell it that it's a portable one.
It's just wearing me down...soon I'll be gone and things will be better...I'm sure small towns are nice for most people, but I can only swing in a hammock and talk about how cold it is for so long...

bored as hell and I want to get ill...

It's around 8:30 in the AM and I've already been up for 2 hours...I'm in that weird time zone where I am waiting for files to download and waiting for my boat to come in...well boats anyway. I work two jobs and between them I clock around 100 hours a week. You would think I would feel overwhelmed by all that work. It really boils down to about 1 hour a day where I have time to myself and I can do whatever I want. The strange thing is that when I get a rare day off I feel like I'm completely wasting it. On my “day off” I still have to work one job, which is about 6 hours a day, but for some reason even though while I'm working a hundred hours a week I keep thinking it would be nice to relax, when I get the chance I can't. I can't just sit down and say…read a book. I get about 15 minutes in and I go crazy. My legs start twitching, I start day dreaming about things I could be doing besides relaxing...things I don't even like doing or want to do...I'll be sitting there reading a book and decide..."I should really clean out that chandelier." Do I try to clean the chandelier often? No. Do I really care what the chandelier looks like? No. Hell, I didn’t even know I had a chandelier until I started reading. But I try to put it out of my mind and try to relax, but the harder I try to relax the more unrelaxed I become. I guess you can't really TRY to relax...relaxing is what happens when you're not trying to do anything else. So on my next day off I am going to try to not try to do anything…I think I’m going to succeed.

Pretending it's today

I'm going to pretend in this blog that what I'm talking about happened today even though it didn't. I want to be honest with you up front though...that's how I am.

Today I went for a run. Why? I don't know. I guess to stay in shape. Running really isn't my thing. But when my other option is listening to my dads same two stories I'll pretty much do anything. The thing about running in Angora is that there really isn't a whole lot to see while you're running. Not like when I was in Duluth. I could run the lake walk there and see...the lake...and stores...and may be a lady or two...mostly old guys with hairy nipples...I guess may be I could do without the hairy nipples. Still, the only things I see in Angora are trees. Sure, there are some hippies that really like trees. And I'm sure glad I'm not running in a desert. But they are mostly swampy trees, and the only other thing to look at is logging trucks...which are hauling dead trees. Anyway today I was running and I was about 3 miles from home when someone pulled over and asked me if I needed a ride. It was as if they couldn't imagine someone would be out running. I told them I was fine and that I was just out running. They then asked, "Are you sure? It is a long way." I wasn't sure what to think. Was it that I was so far from home that nobody could possibly be out running? Or was it not that far but she still couldn't imagine i could make it.

Today it begins

So today I decided to join the ranks of the blogger.com. I even picked out a picture that makes me look the most computery. Fun fact, I used to do blogging back before they had a word for it. I like to think of myself as a pioneer of sorts. Paving the way for (insert list of famous bloggers if there is such a think here). Sadly I have nothing really that important to blog about. Mostly I assume I'll be complaining. I could talk a little about my day, but it's not that exciting and if I don't want to read it I doubt anyone else would. Also it's really none of your damn business what I do each day. So stay tuned friends...and enemies....dum dum dum.